Newly qualified

The difficulty of being a newly qualified
nurse.
I had a memorable shift last night where I started to question
myself whether I am doing what I am supposed to be doing to
get my share of respect from my colleagues. One of my patients
was on a 1:1 observation, my colleague that was with him that
time thought that they will be the controller of the whole night on
what would be done with him. Band 2 staff that wanted to tell me
what to do and got angry when I suggested another better way
of dealing with the situation. I was working with a senior nurse
that night, but this patient was my patient. The staff told me that
she will be going to the senior nurse to hear from her before
doing anything that I suggested. I got up to deal with the situation
myself, the junior staff got angry and left the place without telling
me anything. She went to the senior nurse that confirmed to her
the same suggestion I made before she could calm herself down.
It is very hard to be insignificant member of staff, I thought I was
doing my best to proof to everyone that I qualified before coming
to hospital to work but it is hard to convince them. This is
promoting low self esteem in me and sometimes, I prefer not to
talk or suggest anything if they will not consider my suggestion.
This is difficult, considering that I thought that after the first year
(preceptorship period), the situation will change but with some
colleagues, they want me to be taking orders from them not the
other way round. I know I may be over thinking it but sometimes
I attribute it to racial differences. Maybe they are finding it hard
to take instruction from a foreigner, not only just a newly qualified
nurse. In that case, there will be no remedy to the situation,
nothing will change it even if I stay there the next 10 years, they
will still be finding it hard